It’s the end of the year and it means different things for each of us. But one thing we all have in common is that we celebrate something. There is a festive atmosphere around. In the same spirit, it is worthwhile to also take some time to celebrate our life journey.

I know how chaotic this year has been and continues to be. We just want to get it over with and forget that 2020 ever happened. For me personally, this year has been a roller coaster ride, both personally and professionally.

I find it the right time to do a self-reflection and share how I go about it. By taking a step back and looking at how the year has been; what it means in the larger scheme of things and what could be the new possibilities stepping into the new year will help us let go of the unwanted stuff and set a path for a successful New Year.

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest. Confucius

Self-reflection can also be called introspection is simply taking some time out to look inward and pay attention to your experience and thoughts within. It covers all aspects of being you, that is your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, desires, and values.

7 benefits of self-reflection

1. Self-awareness
2. Learn from mistakes
3. Clarity in thinking
4. Gives great ideas
5. Happier you
6. Gives you perspective
7. Helps you help others

1. Self-awareness

Self-awareness is understanding how you react and respond to the external environment and how your behavior affects other people. We usually go through each day with so many things occupying our minds that we jumble things together and don’t even pay attention to our behaviors and actions.

If you could, try to ask your partner or someone who really pays attention to your body language and behavior in different situations, or even better yet, record a video of yourself to observe. Our habits usually come through without our conscious notice. Self-awareness helps to identify those habits and cues and gives an opportunity to perhaps strengthen or change those habits. This would become a powerful ally to achieve your goals down the road.

A couple of years ago, my wife and I used to drive to work together having a nice conversation. And then the rush hour traffic would set in, with incessant honking and reckless driving. With this trigger, I used to swear out loud, interrupting our conversation. When I was doing my reflection exercise a couple of weeks later, as I was visualizing my day, I observed my own behavior and committed to change it

2. Learn from mistakes

Mistakes are the dormant seeds of improvement to be sown and reap the fruits in the future 

We should consider making mistakes as a positive experience since it means that we tried to do something. It’s incredibly better than not trying or doing anything. By self-reflection, we look at mistakes with gratitude and figure out what went wrong, what didn’t go as planned, or acknowledge that it really didn’t occur to us at that time.

If we don’t learn from our mistakes we are bound to repeat them. And repeat them enough times, it becomes a habit.

The first rookie mistake I did with money when I first started my job was to buy stocks by following the news. Luckily enough, I learned quickly that was a mistake and corrected my course before it became a huge one.

3. Clarity in thinking

We go about our days as busy as bees, not a thought to spare on some of the great ideas stemming from our deepest desires and will and blame it on the world outside muddling our thinking.

Self reflection is the go to tool to help with that. By taking the time out to sort out signal from noise, we bring clarity to the things that really matter. Clarity in thinking will lead to living more intentionally. It’s your special weapon against those impulsive buys when you walk across the mall or open that shopping app or website.

This is especially important since, we are doing it now that will set the stage for figuring out what you will do next year.

4. Gives you great ideas

Let me tell you a secret. Great ideas are the hidden gems you have within you because they are uniquely you. Self-reflection clarifies your thinking, which in turn helps you see those hidden gems deep within. Seemingly simple connections you failed to see until now between different aspects of your life start to fit together like legos. That is the birth of ideas.

Many people feel they get their best ideas while taking a shower. It’s one of those times, where we are completely vulnerable, and that helps to let go of the inhibitions blocking our thinking and gives you clarity of thought. Give it a try next time.

When doing a brainstorming exercise with my teams, I insist that we all take a few minutes before we start to do a quick brain dump exercise to clear our minds and then start.

Doing this intentionally now could very well lay the foundations for your next year’s goals that you might not even have thought of doing.

5. Happier you

We have talked about reflecting on our mistakes. Self-reflection on things that we did well is even more important, to celebrate our wins and successes. It’s free therapy.

Just looking at all the things you have accomplished and done right, gives you an immense sense of fulfillment and contentment. We often are easy to give praise to others when they do a good job and fail to do it for ourselves. It’s not vanity to do so, but simple self-love. Celebrate your wins, give yourself a hi-five, and pat yourself on the back.

Reflecting on how fortunate we are to have partners who unequivocally support us, family, and friends who love us helps us be happy. And just don’t reflect, share that with your loved ones. We are nicer to others when we are happy ourselves. For a year like this, it is even more valuable.

6. Gives you perspective

So, you have missed a project deadline, failed to send in that report, or didn’t go for a run. What do they all mean in the grand scheme of things?

Well, you will only know that when you take time to reflect on that. It might mean those don’t really make a dent or are not as grave a mistake as you initially thought. By gaining perspective, we can rearrange our priorities and focus on those few things that actually do matter, and ignore the noise.

It helps to take the stress off your shoulders. Who knows, it might also take you in a new direction. Combined with clarity in your thoughts and brimming with new ideas, you are poised to leap into a successful year ahead.

7. Helps you help others

I’m writing this today to share what has helped me to help you.

Self-reflection has enabled me to learn a lot of things and hope it will also inspire you to do the same. The ideas I get for posts are not just things I feel like writing about, they’re ways that I can share what I’ve learned to help others going through the same things.

And this year, I’ve learned just how powerful that is. I am starting the new year with the hope that some of the things I’ve learned in the past couple of years can help others. This is the start of a journey.

Now, let us look at what the process of reflection looks like

The recipe of self-reflection

I absolutely love food and cooking. I’d like to think of it as a recipe.

via GIPHY

In essence, it’s about 3 things

1. Use ingredients you love

I love fresh greens, lentils and fruit. I eat them almost every day.

Think of the things you love doing, feeling, and having. If you had a choice, would you only have these and nothing else? Wish it was that simple, but yes, if it was possible, I presume we all would like to have them and nothing else.

When thinking about self-reflection for the year. Have this at the back of your mind. Focus on all the things you cherish and be grateful for those. Celebrate them. Exclude all else.

If possible, try to express yourself in some way to celebrate those moments. Anything counts.

2. Avoid bad flavors

I’m not a big fan of a vegetable, the bitter gourd.

Think of the bitter experiences you have had this year, things that upset you, made you feel less confident, kept you from doing your best work, or things that you did to make others feel bad.

These are all the bad flavors that have spoiled your year. Take stock of them, acknowledge the feelings, make a list; And burn it. Let go of all these negatives, throw them out. Make a mental note to not take any of it to next year.

3. Add nutrients to boost growth

Who doesn’t want to be healthy and grow strong? One way of making sure that happens is adding the right nutrients to the mix.

These are the practices and habits that enable us to be the best version of ourselves. Like doing a self-reflection, waking early, doing a 15-minute exercise every day, thanking people, thanking yourself, sleeping well, breathing deeply, and on and on.

Try to keep these aspects at the back of your mind when practicing self-reflection. Now for the fun part of actually doing it.

How to do it?

Phew, thanks for reading so far. To get down to business, note that you don’t have to do this in one session or only once. Take as much time as you want.

A key enabler of a good self-reflection exercise is asking the right questions. Sometimes, not to find the answers but just to prompt thinking.

via GIPHY

• Find a comfortable place to sit and relax. Try to not do it at your work desk or somewhere messy. My personal favorite place is a coffee shop or a nice shaded garden or park.
• Switch off your phone or put it in airplane mode
• Close your eyes, take 20-30 deep breaths, calming yourself with each breath
• Have a blank piece of paper or a small notebook and your favorite pen. It is vital to write your reflections, not just play them in your head. Many studies show that the act of writing helps with clear thinking.To make things easier, you can download my Reflection questions template.

Closing thoughts

In summary, self-reflection is a great tool, if done right it adds more intentionality to your life.

Although we talked about it as an end of the year exercise. I highly suggest making it a daily habit in some form. In future posts, I will cover strategies and tools to enable that.

If you find this article helpful or don’t like something, please leave a comment. Feel free to share it with others.